A Fanfiction Nightmare on the Argo II
by RandmWriter
Summary: So what happens when a certain group of 9 demigods on the Argo II find a horrible fanfiction and (despite their ADHD) start reading! One thing's for certain, their pizza getting cold is the least of their problems... Join the gang as they face their greatest problem, something worse than all the monsters combined... A Mary Sue Fanfiction... Rated T for freedom! :)
1. Leo Should Have Left it in Bunker 9!

**HEY GUYSSSS! This fanfic was inspired by another fanfic by the one and only crazychronic! I'm a huge LotR fan but not much of a LotR fanfic writer because I haven't read it yet... But I ****_have _****read Heroes of Olympus (Well, you know, the first book...) so I decided in making this fanfic while reading the second one (Son of Neptune)! If you actually read this weird Author's Note, just put "LEO LOVES PORK CHOP" in your review! Well, you know, if you do review! :D**

**So... on with the show! XD**

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**A FANFICTION NIGHTMARE ON THE ARGO II**

**"YOU ****_REALLY _****SHOULD'VE JUST LEFT THAT LITTLE PINK SPAWN OF TARTARUS IN BUNKER 9"**

** Leo Valdez** paced Bunker 9 with no objective whatsoever. It all felt very weird to him. No constant hammering of metal, no loading of crates in and out of the ship, and no hot-wiring Wii controllers or greasing gears. And, even though he wouldn't admit it, it scared him. And "Hot Stuff" wasn't allowed to be scared.

He took a step back and what he saw took his breath away. There stood the Argo II, with it's massive hull, giant mast, and at the center stood Festus (well... his head anyway) standing tall and proud as their eyes at sea. The best part about it was the fact that _he_ made it and Leo just couldn't help but feeling proud at himself. Unfortunately that was quickly replaced by sadness.

'It's done,' he thought to himself. 'Which means the quest starts...'

_The quest starts..._ Those words kept ringing in his ears. He couldn't believe it. It always seemed to be in the distant future, but now, it was really going to start.

He shook his head and paced the room nervously. Oh man, what did he just get himself into? After about 3 minutes of pacing, he spotted something in the corner and went to pick it up. It was... a book. Not just any book, a _pink _book that wasn't affected by time at all. In fact, it looked new. To Leo, it looked like a notebook that took a bath in a pink paint can and got rolled around in a bunch of girly stickers. 'Talk about notebook rights violation...' He thought.

"Leo," said a voice that shook him out of his musings. Leo turned to look at who it was and it turned out to be no one other than Jason. Leo's eyes went wide and he realized he was still holding the pink book. So, he did the only reasonable thing he could think of: he threw the book at the wall. To Leo's disbelief, it bounced off the wall and hit him in the place it chose: his hand. So the book hit his hand, his hand dropped the hammer, the hammer hit his foot, he held his foot and kept on jumping on the other one with the constant 'Ow!', that caused him to stumble backwards, that caused him to crash into a table, that hurt his back, that caused him to catch fire. What he didn't know was that the book found a nice little home in the Argo II after it bounced off Leo. After his little episode was over, and after mumbling 'little pink pile of evil" over and over again, he brushed himself off and walked over to Jason, who looked both amused and confused at the same time.

Jason opened his mouth-

"Not. A. Word." Leo said cutting him off. "In my defense... that book is cursed by Gaea or something."

"Okay man," Jason said, barely stifling his laugh as they walked to the dining pavilion at the thought that "Flame Boy" Leo Valdez just got beaten by a pink book.

Dinner was almost over and Jason saw Piper waiting for them outside. She walked up to them and looked curiously at Leo who was limping.

"What happened?" She asked

"Oh nothing..." Leo said trying to avoid the subject.

"Leo got beat up by a pink book," Jason said with a smile as Piper laughed. He looked at Leo, and if glares could burn, Jason would be a bonfire.

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**-AFTER THE QUEST-**

**(Let's just say Gaea was super nice to them and closed the Doors of Death and threw herself into the pit of Tartarus which Leo still presumed was filled with little pink books...)**

The seven demigods, plus Nico and Reyna gathered around the dining room of the Argo II. Since the end of the quest, Leo pimped the place out and made it a cool, chill room. It had beanbag chairs, pizza, chips and blue Coke as requested by Percy. They were all lounging and enjoying they much deserved break. Jason and Piper were on the beige sofa while watching TV. Leo was on a blue beanbag chair and was currently tinkering with something that looked like bolts, screws and pipe cleaners. Annabeth was on the carpet floor with Percy talking about something demigod-ish. Frank and Hazel were also on the floor, their backs leaning on the couch since Piper and Jason had their legs up. Nico and Reyna (their not a couple...) were sitting on the real chairs. Nico was doing nothing but looked like he wanted to raid the fridge while Reyna sharpened her dagger.

"Hey Leo," Nico called out as he walked towards the corner of the room. "What's this?"

Leo looked up and much to his horror Nico held up something he _never_ wanted to see again. It was... _"the pink book". _

Leo's eyes were as wide as car wheels and he dropped his automaton that sprouted wings and resembled flying pizza...

Nico however was confused by his reaction and started to open the book. Leo saw this and picked his jaw up from the floor and lunged at Nico wildly while flailing his arms around and having a hard time getting off the insurmountable beanbag chair. Nico arched an eyebrow but Jason sighed and walked up to him, closing the book and taking it into his own hands. "He had a bad experience with that," he explained but Nico's confused expression still remained.

Leo got tired and fell down in a heap on the beanbag chair with a sigh of defeat. Jason handed the book to Annabeth. "Do you know what it is?" Annabeth skimmed the pages and her eyebrows went up and looked like little caterpillars trying to crawl up into her hairline.

"What it is Wise Girl?" Percy asked.

"It's weird... All our names are here..." Annabeth answered as everyone looked at each other in confusion. "I don't really know what it is... it just looks like a story..."

"Oh I know that!" Piper exclaimed and everyone looked at the daughter of Aphrodite in confusion. She waved off their looks and tried to explain. "Drew reads those type of stories... their called, um, what was it again? Oh, fanfictions. Yeah, fanfictions, and they have tons of types and I read some about us already." At that everyone arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, their mostly about Jason liking Reyna-" Piper said.

"What!" Jason and Reyna said at the same time and looked at each awkwardly.

"-Or Leo getting a girlfriend-"

"Sweet!" Leo shouted and his hair smoking in excitement but he quickly put it out.

"-Or Leo liking Nico-"

"Yuck!" They both yelled and looked at each other awkwardly too but they also shivered as if the thought disgusted them.

"-Or even Percy dying-"

"What! I'm right here!" Percy yelled and Annabeth had an expression of shock, a hint of sadness, and a bit of anger.

"But of course they aren't true."

"BY THE GODS THEY AREN'T TRUE!" All of them yelled at the same time.

Piper looked at the book and scanned a few pages, then she visibly paled. "This one is the worst..." she said.

"Worse than _me dying_?" Percy said not quite over it.

"Yes..." Piper's reply made Percy fall silent.

"What is it Beauty Queen?" Leo asked, his voice quiet from the shock of everything.

Piper looked up with fear in her eyes... "It's... a Mary Sue..."

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**MAN THAT WAS FUN! I LOVE WRITING THIS! CHAPTER 1 IN THE HOUSE!**

**Me: Please review! Whoever does get Leo, Jason and Frank's Brownies!(w/ Peach Preserves!)**

**Leo, Jason & Frank: No!**

**Jason: Get past my bolt first!**

**Leo: And my hammer!**

**Frank: And my iguana!**

**Me: *Rolls eyes* I'll find a way...**

**Sorry if it seems stupid or the jokes are bad! Please give an honest review but please no hurtful words! :D I wanna get better!**

**Feel free to PM me guys! Don't worry, I don't bite! I like making new friends! (I'd appreciate it if it was related to the story or HoO 'cuz sometimes I get random ones...) Oh, and I'll most likely reply to your review or your PM via PM so don't be surprised!**

**If you read both weird author notes then say "LEO LOVES PORK CHOP W/ GRAVY!" in your review if you do review! :)**

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**If you want to add a joke to the story (related to HoO) tell me through the reviews or through the PMs!**

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**WOOHOO! RANDOM QUOTE FOR THE CHAPTER: "Unicorns cannot fly. I cannot fly. Therefore I am a unicorn!"**

**If you got any Random Quotes you wanna say ****tell me through the reviews or through the PMs!**

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**PEACE OUT AND SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE! BYE! **

**-RW ;)**


	2. That Much Pink is Bad for Your Sanity!

**OH MY GODS! I can't believe I got ****_7 REVIEWS_!**** Thanks so much guys! I was starting to think nobody would review 'cuz it was badly written or something! **

**Ok... I have a confession to make... I kinda use the same message in reply but modify it and make it a bit more personal... Sorry but when I was making the second one I realized it was the same and it's hard to come up with different ways to distribute the BROWNIES AND PEACH PRESERVES... Hope you guys don't hate me! **

**If you read this note just put "ANNABETH LIKES UNICORNS" in your review if you do, or if you accept my apology "ANNABETH LOVES UNICORNS!" **

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**Review Replies! :D**

**Battlemaiden518: Thanks for being my first review! I got the unicorn quote from a friend!**

**AmaryllisBloom: The Mary Sue fanfic will be VERY terrible! XD LOL!**

**Percabeth4ever: Thanks! Here's the update!**

**No-named guest: Thanks and I will keep on writing!**

**PercabethStuffs: Thanks! :)**

**Darkmoon111: Thanks! Without further ado here's the update!**

**Littlemissthunderbird: THANKS FOR REVIEWING THIS ONE TOO MELLON-NIN! (We both are Lord of the Rings fans...)**

**-ON WITH THE SHOW!-**

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**A FANFICTION NIGHTMARE ON THE ARGO II**

**"READING ANYTHING ****_THAT_**** PINK IS HAZARDOUS FOR YOUR HEALTH AND SANITY!"**

**Percy **opened his mouth to ask what in Poseidon's name was a Mary Sue and how was it worse than a "Percy dies" Fanfiction but Jason beat him to it.

"What's a Mary Sue, Pipes?" Jason asked wondering what was so wrong with it. Piper then took a shuddering breath. "A Mary Sue kinda like a perfectly-perfect character that the author wants to be like. They're so inhumanly pretty, smart, talented, and _very _self-centered. Most characters in the fanfiction just _adore _her but we readers just wants her to have the decency to die at the end!" Every demigod except for Piper had a curious look on their face.

"Can we read it?" Percy asked.

"I-I suggest you don't..." Piper stammered but Jason put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "C'mon Pipes, we beat Gaea, a pink book isn't that bad." Piper sighed and handed the book to Percy. "Go on."

Percy took the book and everyone looked at him expectantly, even Leo who was sitting and, oddly enough, not holding or tinkering with anything.

"Okay," Percy said as he opened the book and started reading. "**The Life of the Most Perfect Demigod Who Ever Lived **by _IAmSoPerfectlyPretty14."_

"Wow, what a username," Hazel said sarcastically.

_**Chapter 1**_

_It was a beautiful morning in Paris. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, but it was fifteen-year-old Fifi who stood out most._

"Fifi's a dog name," Jason mused.

_Her long purple hair flowed in the breeze and looked like it was falling in slow motion._

"Falling off her head I hope," Leo said. They weren't even done with the first paragraph and they already felt like this girl was going to be irritating.

_Her vibrant pink eyes-_

"Like I said," Piper stated. "Inhumanly pretty."

_-shone like stars even though it was daytime. She was so beautiful that everyone gave her free stuff like food. Even though she ate all of it-_

"That's gluttony," Frank said.

_-she was still slim and fit. Unfortunately, she was sad._

"How tragic," Reyna mumbled.

_She had so much homework! She was at Paris to relax but she still had so much homework left at home in New York. Oh! If she could just go to a place where there was no homework, just relaxation and fun activities-_

"Oh no... I think she's hinting at something..." Nico said looking nervous.

_-Like a camp..._

"NO!" All of them screamed at once.

_Suddenly, a great wind swept her off her feet! She then found herself on a hill with strawberry fields._

"Oh no..." Leo said.

_She then saw a sign that said _"Camp Half-Blood".

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They all looked close to crying but Jason, Reyna, Frank and Hazel also sighed in relief.

_Then she realized that it was written Greek and wondered how she could read it. Then she just shrugged it off, she was special like that._

"Any greek demigod can read Greek! You're not special because of it!" Annabeth yelled. That girl had more pride than Arachne!

_She saw a chariot flying overhead, but when they saw her, the one handling the reins got distracted so they crashed into the water._

"The _anemoi_ were chasing us and set the wheel on fire!" Jason yelled.

_She walked up to them-_

"How'd she get there so fast!" Percy said. "Oh, she's talented like that?"

"Why didn't the Apollo kids shoot her down before she got past the boundaries or something!" Annabeth yelled.

_-and suddenly this hot blonde guy came out of the water!_

"Uh oh.." Jason said while sweating like crazy.

_A Latino looking kid wearing an aviator jacket went up to Fifi but she turned him down before he could say anything. Then the hot blond guy ran up to her and kissed her hand. She blushed but let him kiss her hand again. 'My lady you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen!' he said in a pleading voice. 'Be mine please! I beg yo-'_

Percy, like all the others except Jason who was blushing madly, fell into a fit of laughter and tears formed in his eyes.

"Oh man!" Percy said between laughs. "You're- never gonna- live- this down!" Then he erupted into laughter again which caused Jason to blush harder.

"I would be mad but it's too funny!" Piper yelled while laughing.

"For the first time I'm glad somebody turned me down!" Leo said, his hair sparking in laughter.

_Then the Latino kid got a flaming hammer and all that and everyone went away, but not after gawking at Fifi's beauty._

_"_Wow! How elaborate!" Frank said.

"Mary Sues don't care about grammar, spelling or plot points," Piper explained. "They think the only thing that matter is their beauty, and of course, themselves."

_Then this horse-man guy came up to me and said his name was Keron_

"CHIRON!" Everyone yelled feeling insulted.

_'Unfortunately you're not a demigod," he said. Fifi felt her soul get crushed and tears like diamonds fell from her eyes and made her long eyelashes wet. _

"YES!" All of them cheered and helped themselves to a slice of pizza in celebration. Well, until Percy took the book and started to read after swallowing his bite of pepperoni pizza.

_'No matter! Since you are too beautiful, a god will surely adopt you!' Keron said._

All the pizza slices fell to the floor.

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**This was so fun! Sorry if it's short though! Thanks again to my friend _Littlemissthunderbird_ for supporting me even though this isn't a LotR fanfic! Hannon le mellon-nin! ;D**

**Me: Please review! This time you can get Percy's Blue Cookies!**

**Percy: NEVER! *brings out Riptide*  
**

**Me: I'll get the Stolls to do it then!**

**Sorry if it's horrible! (Well, the one done by "IAmSoPerfectlyPretty14" is suppose to be horrible I was talking about mine). Please give an honest review but no hurtful words please! I wanna improve! :D**

**Feel free to PM me guys! I don't bite! (I'd appreciate it if it was related to the story 'cuz sometimes I get random ones...) I'll also reply to your review or PM via PM so don't be surprised!**

**If you read both author notes say "ANNABETH LIKES/LOVES UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS!" in your review if you do!**

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**If you wanna add a joke to the story (related to HoO) tell me through the reviews of through the PMs!**

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**WOOHOO! RANDOM QUOTE! THANKS FOR THE GREAT RESPONSE TO THE LAST ONE!: "I could't think of a quote so... PEANUT BUTTER!"**

**If you got any Random Quotes you wanna say tell me through the reviews or PMs!**

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** PEACE OUT AND SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE! BYE!**

**-RW ;)**


	3. We love this Mary Sue Fanfic! Not!

**ALMOST FORGOT! : Heroes of Olympus is not mine! I just enjoy messing with them!**

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**HEY GUYS! OH MY GODS! I got ****_7 MORE REVIEWS! _****THANKS! It really means the world to me!**

**Um... I wasn't able to update sooner 'cuz school work piled up and I had to write the script for the school play and direct the play and all that but it's done now! T****here was a typhoon the hit our country here in The Philippines but thankfully we're fine here! :)**

**Guys battlemaiden518 made me realize that there are _TWO _Mary Sues in my fanfic because Piper is a Mary Sue! Oh my Gods!**

**Anyway if you read this Author's Note, put "POSEIDON'S LUNCHBOX" in your review of you do review! **

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**REVIEW REPLIES! (Should I still put this here? Or just reply through PM? Or place it at the end?)**

** Jewellight: Thanks and I will keep writing!**

**No-named guest: Thanks for reviewing and I'll put that in!**

**Littlemissthunderbird: Oh my Gosh mellon-nin your comment made my day! Hannon le!**

**Darkmoon111: Thanks and may your computer never crash too!**

**EverySingleTime: Thanks! I will! I'll put your RQ (Random Quote) in too!**

**Battlemaiden518: Oh my gosh that is so cool! Thanks for bringing it to my attention!**

**AmaryllisBloom: Thanks and now here's the new chapter! :D**

**-ON WITH THE SHOW!-**

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**A FANFICTION NIGHTMARE ON THE ARGO II**

**"WE LOVE THIS MARY-SUE FANFICTION SO MUCH!... NOT!"**

"**A god _adopting?!_ **That's unheard of!" Reyna yelled, obviously irritated.

"Apparently her "_beauty"_-" Leo said with a shudder. "-makes her an exception."

_Fifi laughed out loud in joy and happiness! Her voice was so melodic and soothing that everyone heard it, and almost fell asleep._

"More like dropping dead so they don't have to see you," Nico mumbled and all eyes fell on him but he just shrugged.

_He follow Keron and hot-blonde-guy to this blue, rickety old house. She sighed and looked at it with distaste, she took it upon herself to decorate, pinkify and prettify it._

_"_Prettify? I she serious?" Frank said. Everyone raised and eyebrow at him which meant 'In this story, when has this daughter of Tartarus ever been serious?'

_When they entered the door they bumped into each other. Not on purpose though._

"Pfft... yeah right," Leo said and then said in high pitched voice, "Oh the door is so wide! I'll push myself to the side! Of you thought of that too? Tee hee!"

Silence...

More silence...

...

**BOOM! **Everyone burst out laughing! Even Jason! They were hugging their sides in laughter and tears were forming in their eyes. Then... moment's over... and Percy kept reading.

_Then the Keron dude fed this sausage thingy to this leopard thingy and then hot-blonde guys spoke in Latin! It was so hot... but Keron ruined it when he spoke Latin too... Then it was soooo boring. I thought I was gonna die..._

"Please do," Hazel said with too much enthusiasm.

_Anyway there was this campfire and then hot-blond-guy was there! Then there was this girl who got instant make-over and claimed by this Afro goddess or whatever and it was my turn. Then Toga dude with lightning came in and said I was his kid. Oh no! That means hot-blond-guy and I were siblings! We could never be together!-_

"I find that very agreeable," Jason said.

_Then Sun God came in! He said I was his too! Then boom! __12 gods major battle! They were fighting over me but I was used to that._

BLANK. The expression on the nine demigod's faces were blank. Nope. Nothing. This story was getting TOO ridiculous. It was beyond the point of reason.

_So in the end I was the first ever "DAUGHTER OF THE 12 OLYMPIANS". They told me I could choose any cabin I wanted to sleep in._

Jason then began to sweat. "Uh oh..."

_Then hot-blond-guy stood up-_

"No, fanfiction me! Sit down!" Jason yelled.

_-then he said-_

"Nothing! I said nothing!"

_-"Please stay with me in my cabin! I cannot bear the loneliness! Your presence is the only thing that keeps me sane-"_

"No! It your presence does the exact opposite!"

_-"You are the light in my darkness! You are my port when I am lost at sea! You are the only comfort I have in this strange world! Please be with me!"_

There was a resounding "AWWW!"

"That's so sweet bro," Percy said teasingly.

_Of course, as a girl with a pure heart-_

There were more snickers there than in the Snicker candy factory.

_-I couldn't deny him! He was like a lost puppy! No! I will not leave him alone! I looked at him an smiled and I saw him almost swoon and fall unconscious. "Okay!"_

Needless to say Jason did fall unconscious.

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**Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is shorter! I'm not feeling very well... :( I'll write as soon as I get the chance. I'm kinda busy but I'll try to update!**

**Also... should I still reply the reviews through PM's? It's kinda redundant since I'll post it here too...**

**So... should I still continue this story? I'm unsure... **

**Me: Please review! Those who do gets Jason's flying Mashed Potatoes!**

**Jason: ...**

**Me: I guess he's too traumatized to care... Sorry 'bout that buddy!**

**Jason: ...**

**Sorry if it seems stupid or the jokes are bad or not funny at all! Please give an honest review but no hurtful words please! I wanna be better! :D**

**Feel free to PM me guys! (I'd appreciate it if it was related to HoO 'cuz I get random ones...) I don't bite! I like making friends! I also reply to reviews through PM's so don't be surprised!**

**If you read both Author's Notes say "POSEIDON'S LUNCHBOX HAS WATER OREOS!" in your review if you do review!**

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**If you wanna add a joke to the story (Related to HoO) tell me through PM's or reviews!**

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**WOOHOO! RANDOM QUOTE TIME! "I am not too imaginative! Oh no! My dragon ate my homework!"**

**EverySingleTime: "Holy stuff! That orange is yellow!"**

**No-named guest: "My friend told me I was delusional. I almost fell off my unicorn."**

**If you got any Random Quotes tell me through the reviews or PM's! :D **

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**PEACE OUT AND SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE! BYE! :D**

**-RW ;)**


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